A Twist on Proverbs 31

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Have you ever read through Proverbs 31 and wondered how that woman did it all? She’s like a superwoman! Her character is so pristine, and her reputation is such that “her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land” (verse 23).

What if the Bible had a chapter describing Proverbs 31 man?

My mother-in-law shared the following with me. It was featured on the back of a church bulletin in 1987! No author was listed, and I did take the liberty to update the wording a little.

Who can find a loving husband? His value far exceeds that of a gardener, handyman, or financier.

The heart of his wife shall safely trust in him whether in the presence of a beguiling lady or a lonely woman seeking a listening ear.

He spends more time at home than on the golf course, bowling alley, or hunting trip.

He exercises restraint when bicycles and roller blades clutter the driveway.

He accepts strawberry jelly kisses and peanut butter hugs with gladness.

He fixes dump trucks and disjointed Barbie dolls with equal skills.

When his wife screams, he runs to her rescue and steps on a black spider without ado.

He forgets not his wife’s birthday and anniversary.

He notices his wife’s new dress, haircut, shoes and accessories, and compliments her accordingly.

He remembers her beauty during uncomfortable pregnancies and shows patience when a new baby demands her time.

Shampoos, rinses, conditioners, assorted combs, curlers, and hair spray leaves him confused, but he ponders them all in silence.

He is not the perfectionist that thinks an unmade bed or unwashed dishes indicates laziness.

He hangs curtains, fixes faucets, and repairs steps promptly, and thanks the Lord that wife does not nag.

He goes to ball games and cheers enthusiastically for his child’s team whether winning or losing.

He patiently endures piano, clarinet, and violin lessons and sits on the front row at the recital.

When in-laws come to visit, he welcomes them eagerly.

When he goes shopping with his wife, he refrains from grumbling, even though women’s lingerie and makeup do not appeal to him, and he secretly hopes no other male sees him.

When waiting for his wife in the car, he resists the temptation to honk the horn; and upon departure, he accelerates at normal speed.

He keeps his temper under control while helping his children with modern math and applauds the grades received, even when he does not comprehend them.

He does not refuse to attend Team Fellowship meetings and school Christmas programs.

He bestows affection lavishly on his wife and children and remembers to express appreciation verbally.

He communicates freely with his wife and does not pout and sulk during times of disagreement.

His strength supports his family in times of crisis, and he shows tenderness and compassion.

He calmly accepts his wife’s bewildering ways. Though he may never fully understand her, he loves her just the same.

Meet him at the door neatly dressed and greet him with a smile, a kiss, and a warm welcome; for he is a priceless treasure.