Empty Arms on Mother’s Day

Each year on the second Sunday in May, we honor mothers on Mother’s Day. While this day is special for many women, others dread that day.

For the childless woman who wants children, Mother’s Day can be frustrating and a painful reminder of what is lacking in her life. No special flowers or Mother’s Day gift, just another uncomfortable service proclaiming God’s blessing of children.

Parents nod and smile in agreement and wonder when she is going to start a family. “Don’t worry. Next year, you’ll be standing up with all the other mothers,” someone says.

But she may not be. She leaves the service feeling worse than when she came. All she wants is a baby, and no one sees her pain. She is reminded again of her infertility and may even feel incomplete as a woman. Each month she faces disappointment. An unknown poet expressed well the pain she feels:

I am in pain. Someone just died. Who you say? Someone who never was.

I am infertile. My period just came. I hurt so much.

My body keeps reminding me I am incomplete, I don’t function properly.

Why? Why? Why? Oh, my baby, why can’t you be?

 

Some women, after years of infertility treatment, may conceive only to miscarry a baby. Life does not seem fair. While she desperately wants a baby, others intentionally abort their children. She would gladly adopt one of those babies as her own. Doesn’t anyone care for her pain?

Although I have not struggled with infertility, I have experienced the hurt of miscarriage. I do not understand how you feel, but I know you hurt deeply. I care and wish I could alleviate your pain. I wish I could fill your empty arms.

 

Empty Arms

Another month has passed.
God, I don’t understand.
I just want a baby.
Please fill these empty hands.
Lord, give me a child,
And I’ll raise him for you
like Hannah of old–
that’s what I’ll do.

Oh, for a little one
to fill my life with joy!
One or two-I don’t care.
A little girl or boy.
Give me peace within my heart
to rest in You each day.
that no matter what comes my way
I’ll trust You and obey.

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When Death Hits Home

 

I’ll never forget that phone call nine years ago.

“Rachel, this is Mom.”

From the tone in her voice, I sensed something was desperately wrong.

She quivered as she told me the news. “There’s been an accident. Cody was hit by a tractor trailer while on his four wheeler. He’s on life support at the hospital.” She barely sobbed out the next words, “They—they don’t think…he’ll make it.”

I was stunned, not knowing what to say. I had just seen my sister a few days earlier. Although miles separated my family from the rest of my extended family, and my sister lived even further away, I had seen my sister for a brief time before she and her family spent a few days skiing over their Christmas vacation.

That mild December night as I walked under the stars in my neighborhood cul-de-sac, I cried out to God to save Cody’s life, but most of all to give my sister and her family His all sufficient grace to bear the grief ahead and the painful decisions that had to be made.

I kept hoping that this was just a bad dream, and that I would wake up to find everything all right. Why would Cody, a bright young boy just shy of his 10^th birthday, have to face the grim reaper? Cody was a delightful boy so full of promise. It seemed unfair that my sister would lose one of her two biological children, while I was expecting my 5^th child.

I looked up at the stars and imagined Cody’s soul already in heaven. Even as I thought of death, the baby within my womb kicked reminding me of the life growing within me.

Nothing could be done to save Cody’s life. His soul had already left his body; only the life support was keeping his body alive for possible organ donation. On New Year’s Day when everyone else was celebrating, my sister made the painful decision to remove the life support.

Only those who have lost a child understand the deep pain a person experiences at the death of a child. I know the loss of miscarriage, but I still have my five children.

Yes, it hurts to know that you will never see your child on earth again, but we have the assurance that we will one day be reunited with him. The previous summer Cody had accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as his Savior and he is waiting in heaven for us.

Even in his death, Cody made a difference: his organs helped others live. While the pain of death never goes away, you learn to cope and become a stronger person in the process. My sister has helped so many others in so many ways. And after being out of school for so many years, she decided to go back to earn her teaching degree (with highest honors). She is now making a difference in the lives of precious boys and girls as a 3^rd grade teacher.

Yes, we miss Cody, but we know that one day death will be swallowed up in victory.

O Death, where is your victory?

O Death, where is your sting?

1 Corinthians 15:55

Cody Creech Memorial Site